drumline04We are all familiar with the movie Drumline, starring Nick Cannon.  This movie gave us the gift of bringing marching band into the mainstream.  But with every gift there is a dark dark curse!

Here are 5 ways that fans of the movie Drumline have killed my soul…

5. Atlanta A&T is not a real school:  When people ask band kids if they’ve though about attending Atalanta A&T University after high school, it just makes me want to hurt someone.   I know they’re band program is great and all but, IT DOESN’T EXIST!

4. Zoe Saldana is not Black:  As beautiful as she is, sorry bruthas, she’s Hispanic all the way.  She gave all those young men who marched at an HBCU false hope that they would show up as scrawny freshmen, get an automatic spot in a famed marching band, and bag a beautiful movie star quality red bone.  Unfortunately most of you all had to settle for whatever ratchetness was running around your practice field.

3. Self-centered HBCU students:  Sorry HBCUers, a lot of you were so certain that this movie was written about your school/band in particular.  The truth is that it wasn’t.  This movie was actually a compilation of information gathered by students at multiple HBCUs.  Plot, cadences, even the actual band students that made appearances in both movies hail from a multitude of Black colleges.  So get off your historically Black high horse and realize that it’s not all about you.

2. Nick Cannon references: Anytime a non-band person sees a drummer with chops, they begin spewing movie references that always go something like this, “Oh you think you’re Nick Cannon, huh!?”  No, actually I don’t think I’m a moderately successful rapper with a terrible ability to pretend I’m playing drums.  I like to think of myself in a bit of a higher regard.

1. P-1 Syndrome: Every time a misinformed student compares their skills to that of a “P-1,” a spock head pops.  Well not really, but these ratings were used in the movie at one particular school.  This is not a universal rating system as some people seem to believe.  Besides, people who actually say this are usually more like a P-37.